Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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