I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
