How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
