I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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