dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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