biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.