He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude