You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
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Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT