but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"