so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.