Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Randomize
