I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
