the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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