Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
