i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They should really pass out barf bags in church
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
