If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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