I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
