I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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