I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
