walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
