I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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