I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
