real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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