If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
