I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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