Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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