You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
