Me too!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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