i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Welp...herpes.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
