I accidentally had phone sex last night
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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