____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
