Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
4 words: hood of his car
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
