Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Do vagina's smell?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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