True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize