u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Never joke about your clitoris.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
