Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize