she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
