If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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