So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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