If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
