i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
