i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
