The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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