it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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