your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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