I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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