On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
