Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
