Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
