well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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