if you like me you must not know who I am
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
