having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
