I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
