Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am spending my child support on dildos
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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