p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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