Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
