he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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