i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
only if we run a train.
done.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
