It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize