i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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