Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
