This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize