Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize